doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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