Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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