He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
