drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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