I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
