How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
