So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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