Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
