Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you will always have a special place in my vag
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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