Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize
