my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
