This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is the high leading the old right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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