she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
