Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
