youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
