He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
