I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
