the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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