I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We need to feng shui this bitch.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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