yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
