so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
