Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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