Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
