i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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