If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
