I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
