guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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