i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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