im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
