just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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