there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
