Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
