you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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