no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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