is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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