Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
