there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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