video games are the ultimate cock blocker
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
