She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
