Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
