I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
