so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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