There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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