there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
