I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
