She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
