This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
