Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
