I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
