nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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